Fucking Obscure

monita ❀ nineteen ❀ waiting for my shark baby

AskArchiveMeBest Friend
235450

evangelala:

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

(via trust)

15087

pileofmonkeys:

I have waited tables. I’ve worked in bars. You know who tips well? The working poor, the lower middle class, and people who work or have worked in service industries. You know who tips shitty or not at all? Rich people, upper middle class people, and privileged fuckers who use their “moral opposition” to tipping to be cheap assholes. 

(via gourmettrousers)

186177

danasaur-lester:

thehardcoredanosaur:

what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed

and all this time i thought it was the baby ripping through your vagina

(Source: phanfrickintastic, via sarcasticmotherhood)

923294

shotsfiredat221b:

dulect:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

image

Both reactions work

(Source: chicken-nuggets-galore, via trust)

343506

yall-motherfuckers-need-levihan:

avoidingavoidance:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

i hear a calling

"yogurt slinger" 

"100% all-beef thermometer" 

this is the best thing i have ever read

(via punkmonksteven)

433938

selmabouvier:

i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”

(Source: grotbag, via trust)